Birds are My Spirit Guides!

Yes, this is exciting!

Fine, it’s by my own choosing. I was finding myself looking up birds that I saw, especially if they kept popping up in my life, if I felt a special affinity with them, or they were uncommon and I spotted them unexpectedly. I mean really, I do the same thing with animals (if I see a moose or fox or something else a bit elusive). However I get to see birds more often, so I’m looking them up more often!

So naturally (haha) I decided that the birds I see are actually spirit messengers. Continue reading

Comfort Zone Stretches

The other day, Neko and I went for a walk by the (manmade) lake near our house. When we got to the point where the path was about to veer away from the lake, I asked her if she’d like to continue on the path and around the hill, or climb the hill and walk back along the top. She said she’d rather climb the hill but when I said, “Okay, we’ll go a bit further on the path and when it turns, we’ll go up the hill,” she gestured to the steep bank to our left and responded, “No, let’s climb the hill right here. It’s harder.”

She wanted to take the harder way because it would be hard work and therefore would be “better for us” in the long run. I told her it’s obvious that she’s my kid.

“Do you know what a comfort zone is?” I asked her. Continue reading

Random Acts of Kind Weirdness

#sexyghostOn Halloween night, I was thinking about random acts of weirdness and how they can brighten someone’s day. Of course what got me thinking about this was when I realized that using just my #sexyghost costume, I could really either freak people out or make them laugh by simply standing very still — say, under a streetlight, or in a dark corner of our yard. How much fun would it be to wear the costume around dusk and stand in the woods just off a bike path somewhere? I mean, as long as I didn’t get beat up.

This got me thinking of other random acts of weirdness — something that used to be one of my favourite hobbies. My best friend and I used to do things like rollerskate around the neighbourhood in angel wings (we were 18, not 8), and we had grand plans of setting up a fake Christmas tree in the park in the middle of May. I also like to buy flowers and hand them out to strangers, paint rocks and leave them in unexpected places, or create treasure hunts in the library for strangers. I miss doing these things! Continue reading

Do You Wanna Be a Third?

I’ve wanted to be in a triad for a long time. Justan and I talked years ago, in 2001 or so, about how cool it would be to have a girlfriend and all three of us live together… but that was a crazy dream, right? Over the years I dated other girls and sometimes Justan dated them with me, but we never thought that three people could fall in love! Well, then one day three of us did fall in love. That changed things.

We then went on to be polyamorous in that we dated other people, for a few years. During this time we learned a lot. We learned a lot about treating people with compassion and respect, and about how some of our early language and perceptions in polyamory had made our other loves out to be more like objects and less like… well, people. Things like veto power, and hierarchical language.

By the time I started dating Andi, I was very conscious of the way I framed my own perceptions — of her rights to speak up, ask for what she needs and wants out of a relationship, and not be second place to anyone unless *she* wants to. Continue reading

Our Invisible World

When did you realize that it can happen to you?

Bad things do happen to good people. All the time. But until it happens to you, it’s not a very real or pressing possibility.

My sister Lisa holding me, at home on the ranch, 1982 or so.

My sister Lisa holding me, at home on the ranch, 1982 or so.

Most people start off life thinking that nothing bad can happen to them or their families. It’s not conscious thought, usually. We realize something could happen, but in our day-to-day lives we operate on the belief that terrible, unexpected things happen to other people. Those other people are not us. We feel terrible for those other people and try to help however we can, but we don’t expect to find ourselves in their shoes.

Continue reading

How a Yurt Saved a Failed Camping Weekend

We had been looking forward to our Labour Day long weekend trip to Crimson Lake in central Alberta all summer. This was largely because you have to book spots there so damn far in advance (the entire campground had filled up for every single weekend for the entire summer by the end of June, I mean come on), but mostly because it’s such a beautiful place and an extremely family friendly campground.

This is what we were looking forward to.

So when Friday morning, the day we were supposed to leave, brought rain and more importanly BITTER COLD, we were apprehensive. We delayed our departure until the next morning in hopes that the skies would clear and temperatures would rise by about ten degrees within 24 hours. Continue reading