Welcome to Adulting Camp: Which Side Are You On?

“Like a Boss” vs. “Adulting is Hard”: Life in the Modern World

If you believe social media, which you’ll say you don’t but you and I both know that you spend at least three hours a day on there so who are you kidding, how could you not internalize it all?, you likely fall into one of two camps.

The first is Camp Type “A,” where campers frequently shout “Like a boss!!” while fist pumping; live life by bullet journals or tidily organized To Do lists; and probably stay up all night drinking caffeinated gin while sewing their kid’s school play costume with one hand, freelancing with the other and, if they’re really good, having an orgasm at the same time.

The second is Camp Adulting is Hard, and their motto is “Nope.” They’re uncomfortably honest about their failing relationship, the fact that they have literally never gotten their kid to school on time, how early in the day they open the wine bottle, and how disgusting their bathroom is. Continue reading

The Triad Book!

This is where all my energy is going right now: I’m hard at work researching my book, interviewing triads and people who have been in a triad that has broken up; I’m reading all the books ever written about polyamory and love triangles; and I’m very busy connecting with triads and polyamorous folk on Instagram and Twitter.

3 interlocked hearts no source

If you’re interested in following this project, there are a few different ways that you can engage:

  1. Follow along on social media: Instagram or Twitter
  2. Have a look around the website.
  3. Take the survey (for anyone over 18 who is or has been in a triad).

There are more options on the site. I hope if you or someone you know has an interest in polyamory or specifically triad relationships, you’ll join me in the journey of writing this book!

The Simple Joy of Going for a Walk

Here’s a value I’d like to instil in the kids: the simple but unfailing joy of going for a walk screen-shot-2017-02-24-at-11-38-18-pmoutside.

It seems overly simplistic, overly optimistic, easy to brush away as pointless. I know this because unless I’ve gone for a walk recently, I forget just how important it is. But I’m glad that I do know, that my parents valued (and still value) “going for a walk” as a worthwhile pastime and that they passed that value down to me.

I know people who hate to walk. I’m not sure why. (Of course with the exception of ability, assuming that walking is not painful, difficult or impossible for you.) If you are a healthy person with a way of walking comfortably and no health limitations (including mental health) to getting outside and going for a walk, I have to chalk up the dislike of walking to a lack of positive experience. Yes, walking is more work than taking the car. You don’t really seem to accomplish anything, when given a superficial glance. You cover ground, but unless you’re going on an errand, what for? It’s not even much of a workout by most people’s standards.

Maybe if we called it “urban hiking” (or, in the country, just hiking), it would have more legitimacy. I think at the end of the day walking is written off as … too pedestrian (forgive me). We have to walk to get around, at least some of the time, and any of us who are able to walk do so every day. Therefore, it can’t be special.

Like eating.

img_7307I disagree (about both eating and walking, but the issue of eating as a spiritual experience is a different post altogether).

Walking is rewarding for so many reasons, and you don’t need to do it regularly, go anywhere special, or own special shoes for it to be so. It offers that much sought after element of INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

I rarely come back from a walk and say, “Gee, I wish I hadn’t bothered. What a waste of time.” No, basically every time I return from a walk, I’m saying (or thinking), “Wow, I’m really glad I went. I feel so much better now. I didn’t really want to go but that was fantastic.”

Why? Going for a walk, whether it’s for five minutes or an hour or more, offers an unpredictable mix of some or all the following:

  • fresh air – which probably contains more oxygen than the air in your home, and if it’s chilly out, wakes you up.
  • conversation – a walk, like a drive, is a great time to talk to your kids, partner or friends. Even if you’re walking alone, you might find that you run into a neighbour and start chatting. Walking builds community.
  • discovery – finding new amazing things in your neighbourhood
  • exercise – you might even be inspired to work out more!
  • energy
  • inspiration – it’s amazing how getting outside and being active can clear your mind. If there is a problem or project you’re stuck on, a walk can get the gears moving smoothly and bring ideas, solutions and inspiration.
  • bonding – maybe a friend or family member will want to join you!

I’d be well-served taking my own advice – I haven’t been going on many walks lately. What could we all be doing tomorrow to feel just a bit better in general? Going for a walk!

screen-shot-2017-02-24-at-11-46-03-pm

20 Tips for Resisting Totalitarianism

Back in November, Timothy Snyder, Housum Professor of History at Yale University and a permanent fellow at the Institute for Human Sciences in Vienna shared the following advice for resisting totalitarianism.

It’s an important reminder than we are no better, wiser nor more powerful than those citizens who have found themselves under totalitarian regimes including fascism, Nazism and communism in the past. I wanted to share it here on my blog as I feel it is incredibly important information for all of us, around the world. Continue reading

10 Things That Happen When You Become a Hen Mum (or Dad)

  1. Suddenly, watching chickens is better than watching TV. Seriously, you never imagined they could be this amusing! How can a seemingly dumb bird have so much personality?screen-shot-2016-09-28-at-7-20-41-pm
  2. You find yourself describing to friends how a chicken CAN be cuddly. Especially if you’ve raised them right from the beginning. Even with the claws and the beak, a docile hen can be really nice to hold.
  3. You can no longer order eggs at restaurants. No eggs can ever taste as good as the eggs laid by your backyard chickens. Turns out grass-fed really is better!screen-shot-2016-09-28-at-7-36-42-pm
  4. You like eggs a lot more than you used to. Sure, eggs are okay. But the eggs out of your own backyard… you want to find a way to eat them at every meal.
  5. You know the difference between a silkie, an araucana, a faverolle and a wyandotte. And you’re always researching online to find out which breeds you want to add to your collection.

    screen-shot-2016-09-28-at-7-31-15-pm

    Spot the Silver-Grey Dorking, the Araucanas and the Dominiques!

  6. All the girls get chicken-pun names. Princess Laya. Heidi Plume. Bok Bok Choy. (For more funny chicken names, check out this list from hobbyfarms.com.)
  7. You put up a fence around the garden. Either that or you curse your hens for decimating all the greens. Including the beets, which they killed by eating the tops.
  8. You know which foods they like best and which are the most amusing to watch them eat. (My top picks: strawberries and pepper tops with the seeds still attached for their pleasure; spaghetti or popcorn for your own viewing pleasure.)

    ...but you draw the line at letting them eat right out of the kitchen...

    …but you draw the line at letting them eat right out of the kitchen…

  9. You wonder how chickens could be illegal in some cities while dogs are always legal. Your chicken coop smells a lot better than the dog poop in your neighbour’s backyard during spring thaw. And your chickens are quieter than the dog down the street that barks at every passerby!
  10. You can trade free run eggs for almost anything.screen-shot-2016-09-28-at-7-24-08-pm

Running: a Love Letter

Dear Running,

I’m writing to apologize, and to say that I’m so happy we’ve found that spark again.

I know it’s been a journey. And I’m glad you’ve stuck by me, even when it probably seemed like I was abandoning you. I like to think that you’re wiser than I am and that you always knew we’d reconcile. And I’m sorry to relate that there were times I contemplated removing you from my profiles and bios because keeping your name there as part of what identifies me felt like it was becoming a lie. Continue reading