You Know What I Don’t Care About?

I don’t care about “You know what I don’t care about?” posts on social media.

They are obnoxious, and they’re also annoyingly common.

You know the ones…

  • During Super Bowl: “Here I am, not caring about sports!”
  • During the Oscars: “I wish everybody would shut up about the Oscars! Who even cares? Not me!”
  • After a celebrity dies: “If everybody would care half as much about orphans in Uzbekistan as they seem to about Prince, maybe this world would be a better place!”
  • Concerning politics: “You know honestly, I don’t even care about <insert political issue>. I wish we could all just stop talking about it.”

And so on, and so forth.

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So beyond the obvious question of “Who even cares what anyone posts on social media, anyway?,” what is the point of posting something like this? Why bother? I mean, if you don’t care, just… move on, right? Keep scrolling?

As far as I can tell, it has to be one of three things:

  1. It’s a way to passive aggressively ask your friends and family to shut up about something because, for whatever reason, you can’t just scroll by;
  2. You like to be the centre of attention and because you have nothing to say about the trending topic, you feel like no one is listening to you;
  3. You want to show everyone that you are too cool, too cultured or too intelligent to care about such a thing – point out your superiority.

I mean, most of us have been guilty of doing this at some point. I’m sure I have been (likely under the heading of sports). But let’s be honest – those are the only plausible reasons for posting something like this, right? And once you see those laid out, it’s not likely that you actually want to be that person.

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Okay, maybe I want to be Moss.

With that in mind, here are some alternatives to keep in mind for the next time you’re tempted to tell us all how little you care about <insert topic others care very much about here>:

  • As mentioned earlier, just keep scrolling. I’ll bet there is a panda video or a Buzzfeed article about introverts coming up shortly that you’ll really enjoy.
  • Ask someone who cares about that thing, “Why do you care about this thing so much?” I recommend using more tact. “You seem really sad that Philip Seymour Hoffman died. Can you recommend one of his movies that you think I might like?” or “You are so passionate about this protest. I don’t really know a lot about the cause. Could you tell me more about it?” or maybe “You seem so excited about this sports game! Can you tell me how penalties work in this sport?” (I’m just kidding, don’t ever say that.)
  • Post something you DO care about. Worried that the plight of the Uzbekistani orphans is being overlooked? Share information on how people can help. Tired of reading about the Oscars? Strike up a conversation on your wall about the best way to chop wood.
  • Hide posts on that topic. Hide every Super Bowl post. Who knows how the Facebook algorithm is working these days but it seems to me that Facebook will stop showing you Super Bowl posts if you do this.
  • My favourite: Go do something else! If you don’t care about whatever it is that everyone is talking about and it’s just all over your feed, you have the option of engaging in groups or topics you do find interesting, however it may also really benefit your mental health to disengage, go offline, and go do something or spend time with someone that you really care about.

I hope we can all feel less of a need to share how much better we are than everyone else because we don’t care about The Thing. The thing is, truly no one cares that you don’t care, except, I suppose, those people whom you have enabled to exclaim, “Me neither!” When all is said and done, no one has benefitted from this conversation.

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